It's a work in progress don't worry...

Alex here. Pharmacist from Missouri living in jersey, probably napping or having an anxiety attack. Love my husband and our puppies more than anything.

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    cheatc0des:

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    bulgin’

    (via momwine)

    | 2,555 notes

    niceferatu:

    homosexual-having-tea:

    jubeartz:

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    ferret

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    that part made me so scared because I thought they were gonna

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    (via momwine)

    | 44,581 notes

    owen wilson broke up with his ex girlfriend cause she wasn't into the idea of him having casual sex with his male and female friends that man is up for anything

    Anonymous

    sjweminem:

    sjweminem:

    not even gonna fact check this im choosing to automatically believe anything anybody tells me about owen winston

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    bluntforceheadtrauma:

    Does anybody want to play outside with me

    (via momwine)

    | 16,057 notes

    monkeywiki:

    omegaverse:

    omegaverse:

    Take me to gnome temple

    Take me the fuck to gnome temple

    *concerned uber driver slams the gas*

    (via onlyhams)

    | 7,528 notes

    you fuckinng dumbasses are wearing glasses during sex?

    Anonymous

    arroz-avec-sass:

    newtgeiszler:

    hyrude:

    am i expected to find the g spot by echolocation? 

    you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?

    I’m wheezing lmfaooooo

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    funnytwittertweets:

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    (via humdrumhootenanny)

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    nastyspells:

    haha so true bestie *gives you a little kiss as I cum inside you*

    (via momwine)

    | 1,789 notes

    spongebobssquarepants:

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    (Source: spongebobssquarepants, via holephobic)

    | 47,817 notes

    expressions-of-nature:

    by Jacob Argyle

    (Source: expressions-of-nature, via super-mega-foxy-awesome-hawt)

    | 18,481 notes

    (Source: catasters, via eillini)

    | 14,189 notes

    wereralph:

    that-twink-over-there:

    musclekinta:

    Andrey Moskvin

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    (via love-phd)

    | 23,929 notes

    leo1106me:

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    (via humdrumhootenanny)

    | 316 notes

    macho-xavier-xxx:

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    (via born2weird)

    | 4,890 notes

    unfaggy:

    graendaal:

    unfaggy:

    I’ll show john krasinski MY quiet place

    This bussy loud enough to get everybody killed. If homeboy is deep in these guts you best believe they’ll start squeakin and squakin!

    i don’t even know what to say…

    (via pastabot)

    | 31,673 notes

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