It's a work in progress don't worry...

Alex here. Pharmacist from Missouri living in jersey, probably napping or having an anxiety attack. Love my husband and our puppies more than anything.

cheatc0des:

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bulgin’

(via momwine)

niceferatu:

homosexual-having-tea:

jubeartz:

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ferret

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that part made me so scared because I thought they were gonna

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(via momwine)

owen wilson broke up with his ex girlfriend cause she wasn't into the idea of him having casual sex with his male and female friends that man is up for anything

Anonymous

sjweminem:

sjweminem:

not even gonna fact check this im choosing to automatically believe anything anybody tells me about owen winston

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bluntforceheadtrauma:

Does anybody want to play outside with me

(via momwine)

monkeywiki:

omegaverse:

omegaverse:

Take me to gnome temple

Take me the fuck to gnome temple

*concerned uber driver slams the gas*

(via onlyhams)

you fuckinng dumbasses are wearing glasses during sex?

Anonymous

arroz-avec-sass:

newtgeiszler:

hyrude:

am i expected to find the g spot by echolocation? 

you looking inside the pussy with your eyes? you crawling in there like antman?

I’m wheezing lmfaooooo

nastyspells:

haha so true bestie *gives you a little kiss as I cum inside you*

(via momwine)

unfaggy:

graendaal:

unfaggy:

I’ll show john krasinski MY quiet place

This bussy loud enough to get everybody killed. If homeboy is deep in these guts you best believe they’ll start squeakin and squakin!

i don’t even know what to say…

(via pastabot)